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His first exposure to independence is a strange one. If he had to give it a taste, he'd probably describe it as spicy — somewhat pleasant, but a bit overkill if you underestimate it. He keeps telling himself that this is something most kids'd die for — total freedom, the ability to police himself without nagging adults breathing down his neck, no bedtime. It's everyone else's idea of paradise, really, and he should be grateful for the lack of rules (he is, in a way), but there's something missing. He's got a feeling it's something important, too, something that'll come back to bite him later if he doesn't acknowledge it, but for all this, he refuses to look its way, keeps telling himself that it's fine, that he's got this, that this is all just an educational experience and he's hit a bit of a learning curve. Generally, he's always believed that 'mind over matter' is a powerful phenomenon, and that anyone can make themselves believe anything if they put enough work into it, but this time, he's not so convinced. Radicals and morons, his dad had once said, had made 'mind over matter' scary.
Robincub doesn't think he's a radical, and he's certainly no moron. He knows that his parents are [redacted], and he knows what that means. They're not coming back, not now — he spent enough time trying to rouse them before inevitably admitting to himself that it was pointless, and he's not about to change his mind now, backtrack and set off in the direction of his former home again, hoping that they'll be well, not [redacted]. It doesn't help that he can't say it, can't even think it — logically, he understands his situation just fine, but his mind refuses to comprehend it, refuses to come to terms with it. There's a hollow void in place of the truth — or perhaps there's a cover instead, a thin film smothering it with crude stitching. If it comes to other people, he can say it without issue — sometimes, people die. Some people are orphans — their parents are dead. It's the specification, the personalisation, that does him in, and he's left numb and aching without fully understanding why.
(Who's he kidding? He understands why. He just doesn't know how to accept it.)
Misery aside, Robincub has to face the other truth — and that is that he's lost in what looks to be somewhere straight out of a fantasy movie. There are worse places to be lost, he's sure, but man, who thought it'd be a good idea to make people walk this far just to get to potential civilisation? He's only assuming this leads to people because it all seems very structured — though he'd not be surprised if he lost his balance and toppled sideways to his death, not because he's naturally clumsy and only partially because this structure seems weirdly unsafe, but (mainly) because he's sort of tired from climbing, and he keeps unwillingly strafing towards the edges. "And I would walk five-hundred miles," he only half-mumbles, squinting against a particularly mean breeze, "and I would walk five-hundred more—" A bird flies below him, somewhere off to the side, and he stops to stare at it, at the view, because it is kind of amazing— "Just to get to the top of these stupid stairs and maybe take a breather, please." His voice pitches higher and louder, and he hauls himself up the last step, crashing at the top and letting his lungs deflate.
He allows himself a few moments of harsh, heavy breathing, maw gaping and tongue in the dirt, before he figures he might as well look around. First impressions leave this place abandoned, but a sniff of the air blows that possibility clean out of the water, because this place reeks of people. When his dad wanted to find out who was around, he'd always make this weird sound, but Robincub doesn't reckon he can do it too and scout out the place verbally — so his only options are either to stumble even deeper into unknown territory or to stay put and hope that someone comes across him. At first, his mind screams adventure, but then he decides to go for the smarter of the two choices, as though his parents are actually still breathing down his neck and waiting for him to screw up his first big decision, and remains right where he is.
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